How to be Ignored

A stand up comic I know once had a joke. While I don't remember all of it the idea was if you never want anyone to talk to you go be one of those people on the sidewalk asking for money for Greenpeace.

He was right of course. And I hate walking past those people as I think most people do. You can see it in people they pass. Suddenly they look down and their pace quickens. Today I made eye contact and smiled. Bam, I was caught in their web. They stopped me in my tracks.

I joked that I just wanted to acknowledge them since nobody talks to them. I told them I wasn't going to give them money and even gave them the sob story of being a graduate student. Still found myself following his command to "step into my office" into a doorway protected from the rain. I tried to escape by offering them the 54 cents I had in my pocket. They turned it down.

For the next ten minutes he gave me the story of Greenpeace and their initiatives without pausing for a breath. The amount of numbers, facts, and references that tumbled out of his mouth were impressive. For a split second he almost had me, just before he said "so are you interested in supporting us, it's just 30 cents a day." I stuck with my initial position and declined so he started ramping up again with a new set of facts and figures. It was an amazing performance I have to admit. I stopped him by asking his female colleague if she was as good as he was. She said no and the only way I could escape was to promise to check out the Greenpeace website tonight because I hadn't in a while.

All three of us smiled as I walked away and I left them with their binders in the rain. I wouldn't be surprised if no one else talked to them all day.