How to be Ignored

A stand up comic I know once had a joke. While I don't remember all of it the idea was if you never want anyone to talk to you go be one of those people on the sidewalk asking for money for Greenpeace.

He was right of course. And I hate walking past those people as I think most people do. You can see it in people they pass. Suddenly they look down and their pace quickens. Today I made eye contact and smiled. Bam, I was caught in their web. They stopped me in my tracks.

I joked that I just wanted to acknowledge them since nobody talks to them. I told them I wasn't going to give them money and even gave them the sob story of being a graduate student. Still found myself following his command to "step into my office" into a doorway protected from the rain. I tried to escape by offering them the 54 cents I had in my pocket. They turned it down.

For the next ten minutes he gave me the story of Greenpeace and their initiatives without pausing for a breath. The amount of numbers, facts, and references that tumbled out of his mouth were impressive. For a split second he almost had me, just before he said "so are you interested in supporting us, it's just 30 cents a day." I stuck with my initial position and declined so he started ramping up again with a new set of facts and figures. It was an amazing performance I have to admit. I stopped him by asking his female colleague if she was as good as he was. She said no and the only way I could escape was to promise to check out the Greenpeace website tonight because I hadn't in a while.

All three of us smiled as I walked away and I left them with their binders in the rain. I wouldn't be surprised if no one else talked to them all day.

Being Memorable

My friends and I are memorable. Our names rhyme and one of us is truly one of those characters that you rarely get to meet. The rest of us are along for the ride... usually. When we're together apparently we create an exponentially memorable effect.

It was a going away party for our characters on Friday so it was a night of tradition. Plowing around town to shake the hands of bartenders we have chatted with on a first name basis. If you do not know the name of at least one bartender in your town you either 1)never go out 2)are a selfish ass when you go out or 3) you really really should just be friendlier. These guys work hard and they like to be treated like real people, learn and remember their names.

Sitting there to see another bartender we knew, we quickly make friends with a guy who has just been hired. He looks familiar to us all so I ask. "Where else have you worked? You look familiar."

"I've worked all over," he replies, "but YOU would know me from _____" (I'll leave out the name to protect all involved from nothing that needs to be protected). It was a peculiar answer. We probe further and find out he hasn't worked there in a while so we wonder how he would remember us.

My friend heads to the bathroom so I ask our new friend, "Do you remember us or were you just guessing."

"Oh, no. I remember YOU."

"Was I wearing a blue dress?" I asked. I was thinking it must have been another going away party when, for a laugh, I wore one knockout dress. That night I ended up dancing around singing journey at the top of my lungs in that dress. Nothing embarrassing but wonderfully memorable!

"No, you were wearing that shirt and you guys were having fun."

So this guy, remembers my friends and me from a night out over a year ago. A night that isn't memorable to any of me for any reason, but apparently I was wearing the same shirt. When my friend returned we racked our brains for anything that would make us troublesome enough to remember. There is nothing. We are just nice, funny, and friendly enough that people remember us for a long time after we're gone.

It's a good life.